How to tell her she may have give you an STI

Up to 90 percent of people who have herpes are unaware they have it. Most people with herpes have a handful of outbreaks in their life, so there’s nothing for them to notice until an outbreak occurs. That’s if they even notice the symptoms, which could be mistaken for razor bumps or ingrown hairs.

So, a girl might have herpes, not have noticed symptoms, and transmitted it to you. By the same logic, YOU could have herpes and not noticed it until now and YOU could have given an STI to HER.

Aside from herpes, crabs, chlamydia, and HPV are the prevalent STIs you need to worry about as a lesbian.  Like herpes, chlamydia symptoms can present themselves mildly. Same goes for bacterial vaginosis, which is technically not an STI but can be transmitted between lesbians … sensing a theme here? In all likelihood, without regular testing, it can be hard to know when you have STI sometimes. With something like bacterial vaginosis, it’s possible that sex wasn’t the cause.

BV occurs when your vag’s good and bad bacteria get out of balance. While it’s common to get BV after sex with someone new, you can also get it if you wash your undies with one of those scented laundry fresheners, use a really strong bath gel, or scrub your lady bits with scented soap.

Now, how can you protect yourself from an STI or from BV when having lesbian sex?

First, it’s a myth that lesbians don’t get STI’s. Know the risks and decide how you want to handle them. The truth is, any time your bodily fluids are touching hers, your mouth is touching her lady bits, or your skin is touching, you are at risk of STI.

Put in other words, oral sex, scissoring, grinding against her, place you at risk of STI. You could use a dental dam or you could keep your panties on! It’s not as fun as full-on scissoring but it decreases your risk when you’re sleeping with a new partner.

You should have the talk before you get naked and go down! Not only about consenting to whatever you’re into but sexual health, expectations and so on. Were you both tested recently? Is everyone clean? OK, scissor away!

And… you may want to reserve “risky” sex practices for committed relationships. When you have a girlfriend and you’ve both been tested, you can scissor away with a relatively low risk of passing on an STI.

Sex is an intimate act even when it’s casual.If you liked her enough to scissor her, then you should like her enough to be courteous to her should you meet in public … or, y’know, need to reach out and talk to her about sexual health.